This sermon is from the Rev. Charles G. Dennison sermon archive, part of the “Christians & Their Vows” series, and was preached at Grace Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Sewickley, PA, during a worship service on Sunday, March 11, 1990.

This morning we are reading from Ephesians chapter 5, and we will begin with verse 15 and read to the end of that chapter. Hear the word of God. See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as those who are wise. Since the days are evil, therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which there is excess, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Give thanks always for all things to God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for God. Why? Submit to one another, even as the wives submit to their own husbands, as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church. He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the Church to Himself in glory, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the Church.

For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Therefore, each one of you in particular should love his wife as himself, and the wife should reverence her husband.

We ask of you, our God, that we might be fed with your word. Teach us obedience in our daily tasks. May we honor you, Lord, with our offerings and with our lives. Encourage us in our jobs. Bless us, Lord, if we struggle in them. Encourage us, Lord, where we are in great need, in our homes. In the distress that may well be a part of our hearts, these burdens dwell within the fabric of our lives at this time. Through your word, Lord, send help and healing. We beseech you through Christ, in the power of the Spirit. Amen.

There are advantages to being a Puritan. There are great advantages to being a self-conscious, even a determined Puritan. There are advantages in the austerity of our heritage in Puritanism. There are advantages in its sober simplicity and in its steadfast piety.

The reason I say this is because the Puritan, unlike us, would not let a vow pass without reviewing that vow and that oath with full seriousness. The habit of the Puritan was not merely to meditate upon the Word day and night, but also to take with utmost seriousness vows and oaths spoken, so that before they were uttered publicly, they were carefully considered and deeply reflected upon.

Now I know how it is in our time. The occasion often overshadows the oath. Not because the oath is given little thought, but because the event is so important, so monumental, so utterly significant. We find ourselves overtaken by excitement. We find ourselves unreflective. We find ourselves in a non-meditative state. We do not take time to think about what we are saying because of the excitement of the moment. The particularities of the occasion eclipse the significance of the event itself, especially the vows.

So, do you remember your vows in baptism? Do you remember your vows in membership? If you are an officer, do you remember your vows when assuming office? Can you recite for me this morning, from memory, your marriage vows? I guarantee that only pure and worthless salt could. Call them to mind instantly. This morning we want to review both the event and its vow. Because, unfortunately, we are much too unlike our European forefathers.

I will be using the service that appears in the standards of the Orthodox Presbyterian Church, and I dare say that though there may be some differences, there are also striking and marked similarities between this service and other services, even the service that may have been yours, particularly.

Believe it or not, the wedding ceremony is highly doctrinal. It is filled with doctrinal content. The wedding ceremony is built upon a doctrinal foundation and expresses itself in doctrinal ways as it progresses. Let us then consider the parts of the service, the ceremony, and think about their doctrinal significance.

To begin with, there is the institution, or the words of institution. In these words, what is happening is that, in Christian marriage, God establishes His heredity. The institution of marriage, the words of institution in this section that now begins the wedding ceremony, are God establishing His prerogatives. First of all, with respect to this whole matter of institution, there is the recognition of witnesses. This casts the whole matter in a legal frame. We cannot avoid it. That is what I plead with you: continually, we cannot avoid the legal frame of the various activities, institutions, events, and character of our lives. Built within the framework of nature itself is this legal structure. So at the very outset of marriage, at the ceremony, the words of institution bring before us this establishment of God’s prerogatives in the recognition of witnesses. How does it go?

I think some of you can provide this part of the ceremony. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of God to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. The witnesses are twofold. There is, of course, the congregation assembled. They are witnesses to the event. Strictly speaking, they are qualified to give testimony in a court of law regarding what has taken place in the ceremony. See, the legal nature of the ceremony continues.

But not only is the assembly a witness, God Himself is also a witness. The couple has come before God, and the congregation has assembled in His presence. He is the primary witness. While you may not hear the testimony of human beings, you must hear the testimony of God. The unseen witness is the most important witness.

And life lived afterward, in the knowledge of that one who is unseen. How glorious a life that promises to be. Thus, the first part of the institution—the words of institution and the gathering of the witnesses. Then comes God’s ordination, another part of this section. Marriage is by God’s ordination. Here we are presented with the clear teaching of God’s revelation. His word.

We are told that in the time of man’s innocence, God gave to man a wife, preparing for man a woman who would be a suitable helper. God Himself sanctioned marriage in creation, giving us revelation about what occurred in the state of man’s innocence. But after the fall of man, marriage continues, and it continues to have God’s blessing. This is confirmed to us by Christ Himself.

We are told that in the wedding service, Christ was present at the wedding at Cana, as recorded in John chapter 2. We also have Christ’s words in Matthew 19, verse 6, where He says, “What God has joined together, let no man separate.” God is present in the garden, in the ministry of Christ, and also in the authority of the apostles. This is what we find in Ephesians 5 and elsewhere.

The apostles speak well of the institution of marriage and confirm God’s ordination of it. It may be judged. Paul could choose to remain unmarried or to marry. We know this from 1 Corinthians 7, for example. At the same time, the Apostle Paul speaks glowingly and powerfully about marriage in Ephesians chapter 5 and elsewhere.

God’s ordination is rooted in revelation, and this is confirmed by the testimony of the church. As the church reflects upon that revelation, it concludes that God has given marriage to humanity for the enrichment of those who enter into this estate.

Marriage is meant to be an enrichment. It is the addition of another person to a single soul. The coming together of two persons means an expansion, not a subtraction—an expansion of one’s own consciousness, sensitivity, and vision of life. This is what makes selfishness and a solitary life within marriage so terrible, so destructive, and so damaging. Marriage is meant to be an enrichment, a deepening.

We also say in the ceremony that, having reflected upon the revelation of God, marriage is for the propagation of the human race.

We are not selfish in the sense that we stand solitarily before one another in the marriage relationship, but we are not selfish either as a couple standing solitarily before the world. It is very difficult to defend the justifications and rationalizations that we hear today, which many couples use to justify having no children. We are taught in Scripture that marriage is in fact for the propagation of the race. The natural result is children.

And also for the extension of Christ’s church to the glory of the covenant of God. It is not merely so that we might have children, but that other households may be established. You see, it is through the establishment of households that we see the extension of Christ’s Church. There is a natural means by which this is accomplished.

It is not only through conversions, people coming in from unbelief. It is through the seed of the Church. Households being established, then multiplying. And that is how the church grows. Here is church growth in a way that some have forgotten in our time. So we have it.

The words of institution. We also have God’s ordination. But now we come to the charge. The charge can be very sensitive, but I want you to understand the charge in this context. It is for the maintaining of the integrity of the community. You know how this session stands.

These two persons have come to be joined in this holiest state of marriage. If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be wedded, let him now declare it, or else hereafter forever hold his peace. The charge given to those assembled is for the maintaining of the integrity of the community. There may well be reasons why this couple should not be joined together. There have been matters raised in times past. There are matters raised in Scripture itself. Proximity due to blood. Facts coming to light from the communities at that time that speak to this case.

There may be issues regarding indecency and morality that rightly should prevent these people from coming together. There are also matters of faith within the community to consider. Do these people profess a common faith? Do they believe in the same God? Do they serve and worship the same Savior? After posing these questions to the community, the same questions are then placed before the couple.

I require and charge you both that if either of you knows any just cause why you may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony, you do now confess it. This is for the integrity of the community. This is no formality. These matters, having been considered seriously, are then set aside, assuming that both the community and the couple maintain their integrity. Neither the assembly nor the couple is lying. Thus, all suspicions, all questions, and all implied doubts are set aside and dismissed. If you are sitting in the congregation, you have had your opportunity.

This is the charge, and it was judged to be very serious by those who originally included it in the sermons. But we now move from the charge to the change. From the charge to the change. In this, we see the maintenance of the integrity of the households involved.

Have you considered the giving of the bride? Have you thought about the act involved in this tradition? And why, in the traditional wedding service, this is an essential part? There is a great deal of doctrine behind this simple action, this simple practice. The giving of the bride. The bride is moving from one household to another. She is moving from under the authority of one head to a position under the authority of another.

Therefore, the head of the previous household gives his consent and gives her over to the one who will now establish a household for her. Thus, the head of the household, or someone standing in his place, gives this woman to them at this point in the ceremony.

And that is why we find next the question, posed directly to the man. The question put to him is, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live with her according to God’s commandments and in the holy estate of marriage? And will you love her, honor her, and cherish her as long as she shall live? In this, the man to whom she is to be bound declares to all his intention to provide for her a home, a household. And in that household, he declares that he is prepared to provide for her in love, in honor, and in cherishing her as long as they both shall live. A permanent arrangement.

It is only at this point that the woman declares her willingness. Only after she has heard the man does she herself express her willingness with respect to him. Will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live with him according to God’s commandments in the holiest state of marriage, and will you love him, cherish him, and obey him as long as you both shall live? Again, the theology becomes clear, does it not?

I know that this is a source of frustration for many in this day and age, because they have gone so far as to change that portion of the wedding ceremony to remove all reference to obedience and submission. But you see, what was at work in this part of the ceremony in times past was this: the woman passes from one household to another, with the guarantee and promise coming from this man that he will provide for her and take care of her.

What a tragedy it is when a woman discovers that her husband is unworthy. And he did not need to say a word. She is vulnerable. She is vulnerable. And what a tragedy for a man to assert his freedom and his power in such a way as to utterly destroy the integrity of that vow by failing to provide for this woman.

And that brings us to the vow itself. This vow exists for the maintenance of the integrity of the couple. The man speaks first. The exchange is now in view. The woman has passed from her father’s household or from her former home to this man’s household. Now the man declares: “I take thee to be my wedded wife, and I do promise and covenant before God and these witnesses to be thy loving and faithful husband, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, as long as we both shall live.”

First, there is a declaration of reception. He has received her. “I take thee.” This is permanent. Then follows a promise and covenant that covers all aspects of life, leaving nothing untouched by its scope. In sickness and in health, relating to physical well-being and the body; in plenty and in want, relating to economic circumstances; in joy and in sorrow, encompassing all emotional and psychological experiences of life. You pledge yourself. You take her into your home to provide for her and care for her.

Only after hearing this declaration from the man does the woman then declare her own commitment in the same manner. The vow is sealed with a ring. This is a tradition. There is nothing biblical about this practice. It is a tradition that originated in the Roman Catholic Church. Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen. That is the truth. That is the truth. The ring is placed on the fourth finger, often called the “Amen finger,” because it is the left hand, which is used less frequently than the right hand.

At the conclusion, there is a declaration and blessing for the maintenance of the integrity of the Church. The minister declares: “By virtue of the authority committed to me by the Church of Christ and by the law of the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” There is a final reminder: “God hath joined together, and no man shall put asunder,” and the blessing is given freely.

So there you have it. The event, with its vows, is once more before your consideration. I realize that these are not easy times. It is not a good time for marriage. And if that is true outside the church, it is also true inside the church. Because the number of broken marriages is increasing. It used to be that the woman was especially vulnerable. I have already mentioned that. Now, increasingly, the man is also becoming vulnerable. And the wreckage lies along the path that once was covered with rose petals.

A scandal in the Church of Jesus Christ. A great deal of pain. Tragic circumstances as marriages are torn apart. People are wounded. The suffering is intense. It is as though one is undergoing crucifixion. In such circumstances, those who are caught in this situation should look to God and flee to Christ.

Many come with true humility, not claiming their own perfection in any way, but casting themselves upon the mercy of God and upon Jesus Christ for His grace. They realize that vows were made, and perhaps they did not do all that they could have. Perhaps the fault lies with them. Perhaps they are the ones responsible. They are willing to admit this. But in coming to Jesus Christ, they realize that there is one here in their Savior who keeps vows perfectly, where they have failed miserably. And their hope is in Him. It may well be that they must bear the consequences of a broken home and a broken marriage. But there is grace to be found in Jesus Christ. And they cast themselves upon Him. He is the perfect Bridegroom. And He is the one who provides perfect sanctification for the bride.

And if I have stumbled and fallen, then, by His mercy, I can get up again and walk forward, doing better in His power, what I should have done all along. I will not excuse myself. I will not make charges against my spouse or my former spouse, Alberto. But above all else, I will find strength, power, comfort, and consolation in my God, who, by His grace, has provided me with a perfect, full, and complete Savior—one who makes promises and keeps them. And that is for me. Marriage and the vows pertaining to it are important. I trust that this message has brought me help.

Let us pray. O Lord, what a great and glorious God You are. Help us in our vows, in our promises, with the very power that You have demonstrated in Jesus, Your Son. And with His Spirit, may we continue to live as we are, to do the things that we should. And where we have stumbled, may we receive forgiveness. Where we need help, Lord, may we receive from You Your encouragement.

The sermon text provided above is derived from the sermon audio recording making use of generative tools. It has not been manually edited. While transcription tools have a high degree of accuracy, the output may include generative textual, punctuation, and/or formatting errors.