This sermon is from the Rev. Charles G. Dennison sermon archive, part of the “Christians & Their Vows” series, and was preached at Grace Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Sewickley, PA, during a worship service on Sunday, March 4, 1990.

This morning our scripture is taken from Genesis chapter 2. We begin reading at verse 4 and will read to the end of the chapter. Hear the word of God. These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens, and every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew.

For the Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground. And there went up a mist from the earth and watered the whole face of the ground. And the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul. And the Lord God planted a garden in the east. There He put the man whom He had formed. And the Lord God made to grow from the ground every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food, including the tree of life in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And a river went out of Eden to water the garden.

From there it was parted and became four streams. The name of the first is Pishon. This is the one that surrounds the whole land of Havilah, where there is good gold. And the gold of that land is good. There is bdellium and onyx stone. The name of the second river is Gihon. This is the one that surrounds the whole land of Cush. The name of the third river is Hiddekel. This is the one that goes toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.

And the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to work it and to keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat. But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die. And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.

And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air, and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them. And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the air and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept.

And He took one of his ribs and clothed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Recently, I was having a discussion with a friend of mine, and we were talking about possible sermon topics. And he suggested to me that I start a series on the Song of Solomon. And of course, we both laughed and realized, of course, that ordinarily sermons are not preached on the Song of Solomon. The Song of Solomon has been judged as private reading from the Bible, but not public. I realized our sensitivities and my intention this morning, you may be relieved to know, is not to preach from the Song of Solomon. But this word to you, and I trust a helpful word, we can in fact be overly sensitive about the physical. We can be overly sensitive and even prudish about sex. But the Bible is for the body.

I do not know how many people I have spoken with during the membership instruction process at this church who have expressed uncertainty about what happened to the body of Jesus in the resurrection. So I asked them, “Where is the body of Jesus?” And they became confused and uncertain. They are confident that something happened. They even say, “Yes, the soul or the spirit went to heaven,” but they cannot give a clear answer about the body. So I asked again, “Where is the body of Jesus?” Through the struggle and the difficulties of their own reasoning, they are finally able to affirm that the body of Jesus is in glory.

The body came out of the tomb and was resurrected, and the body is at the right hand of the Father. The body, yes—a transformed body, a resurrected body, but the body nonetheless. The body that went into the tomb came out of the tomb. And this doctrine of the bodily resurrection permanently confirms Scripture and Christian faith regarding the value of the body. Biblical faith, therefore, affirms the value of the body.

Scripture does not condemn sex; it condemns sin. Scripture honors sex within the context of marriage, and the Bible is marriage-affirming. Therefore, blessing is attached to marriage in the word, while fornication and adultery are condemned.

So, by way of introduction this morning, and possibly for the benefit of the young, understand the wholesomeness of those things pertaining to the body and to sexuality. Understand God’s intention that sexuality be directed toward marriage and the sanctity of that institution. We have been discussing the vows that we take in life and as part of the people of God. We have now come to the subject of marriage. But before we discuss the vows themselves, it is important for us to clarify our understanding of marriage. Marriage is honorable and truly exalted in the Word. God blesses it. Yet there is great confusion about it.

What is marriage? What is marriage? First, let us consider what marriage is not. Marriage is not a sacrament. Some claim that it is. For example, the Roman Catholic Church holds that marriage is a sacrament. But we maintain that marriage is not a sacrament. This means that marriage is not an ordinance established by Christ’s special institution. It does not receive a specific command from Him in the Gospels, as do baptism and the Lord’s Supper.

We regard the sacraments as ordinances that apply universally to the people of God. They are not left to personal choice. If one claims to be part of the people of God, one must be baptized. If one claims to be part of the people of God, one must obey the Lord’s command and celebrate the Lord’s Supper in remembrance of Him. These are obligations that bind all believers. But is marriage a universal obligation for the people of God? No. It is not. In this way, marriage lacks one of the distinctive characteristics of the sacraments. The sacraments are those obligations that bind all believers, to which all are obliged. But marriage is not an obligation that binds all, for some will not marry, and some do not marry.

Furthermore, marriage is not a means of grace. It is not a way through which God communicates his continual and special grace to us by his Holy Spirit. Therefore, if we are not married, we are not missing out on any of God’s grace. Once more, he says, marriage is not a sacrament. It is a good thing, a blessing, but it is not a sacrament.

Nor is marriage a sign and seal of the covenant of grace by which the work of Jesus Christ—his death and resurrection—is confirmed and validated for us. In all these respects, you see, marriage does not meet the criteria for a sacrament. Therefore, we take exception to the Roman Catholic doctrine that marriage is a sacrament. We do not believe this. But further, I know I am going to surprise some of you, and no, I am not returning to the Song of Solomon. Since marriage is not a sacrament, neither is it by its nature a church ceremony. What? Marriage is not by its nature a church ceremony. No one is more married because they were married by a clergyman in a church. And you are no less married because you have not been married in a church.

Because we take a position that is quite different from what many people hold. They understand marriage to be a sacrament, and as a sacrament, it must be performed by a clergyman and in a church. But we say, no, our understanding is different. Marriage is not a sacrament, and it is not something that by its nature must be performed by a clergyman or in a church ceremony.

Now, here is the revelation for you. You want to read all 66 books of the Bible? Consider them in relation to the matter of marriage. Can you find one passage in those 66 books in which a clergyman performs a marriage ceremony? You cannot. Can you find one church service that includes a marriage ceremony? You cannot. This is a startling realization for many people when they understand this fact.

Reading through the Bible, there is no clergyman officiating at a wedding, and there are no weddings found within the context of a church service. The Bible, therefore, does not place the Church as a necessary part of marriage. The Bible nowhere places the Church under obligation to perform marriages or to offer its services for the sake of marriage to anyone.

My first church was in South Jersey. It was a small country village where this church was located, and in many respects, the church that I served was the community church. I had people coming to my door regularly, from the community, not specifically connected to Jesus Christ in any way, not claiming him in any manner, and often assuming that I was obligated to marry them. They believed it was my duty to perform a ceremony for them, and that the church building was available for their use. And how dare I say, “No, I will not marry you,” or “No, you cannot have your wedding in my church.” Yes, it is true.

Marriage is not by its nature a church ceremony. No one is more married because they have been married by a clergyman or in a church. But at the same time, the Bible nowhere places the Church under obligation to marry anyone. Since marriage is not a sacrament and is not a church ceremony, it is neither obligatory nor eternal. There are churches, both Catholic and Protestant, where failure to marry is considered a sin, and people are judged guilty if they do not choose to marry.

I am now told within my own denomination that if a man, a single man, wishes to go to the mission field for missionary service, he will be rejected. Why? Because he is single. The Apostle Paul could not be a missionary in the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. You just cannot trust the flesh out there on the foreign field. You do not know what kind of trouble they might get into. But Paul was a man, too. There are some churches in which family is treated as an idol.

You must marry in order to have children, and truly, children—this is the goal, is it not? Is this not the highest religious calling? Marriage is not obligatory, especially in this day. Read 1 Corinthians 7 if you do not believe me. Paul makes his case there for us. Marriage is not obligatory.

Even more striking, marriage is not eternal. This truth helps us put everything into proper perspective. Although marriage is wonderful, useful, and helpful here on earth, it does not last into eternity. Jesus said as much to the Sadducees in Matthew 22. He says, “In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like the angels in heaven.”

I believe it would help many people in our society to understand that not only is marriage not eternal, but sex is not eternal either. This certainly puts things in proper perspective. It means, of course, that there are some things of greater importance—much greater importance. People often say that good marriages are made in heaven.

But even the best marriages do not last in heaven. Because marriage is a temporal institution. What we have said so far concerns what marriage is not. What is marriage then? First of all, marriage is a creation ordinance. Marriage is something we read of in Genesis 1 and in Genesis 2. It is something that stands at the foundation of creation, society, and the human race. Therefore, marriage is not something reserved for a special few, nor is it something reserved only for those who have a right relationship with God.

It is something binding upon all, in the sense that the sexual relationship is to be found within the bounds of marriage from the beginning of the world. It is something that belongs to the common lot of humanity. It is not something that belongs specifically to the province of the church. This is well.

Not only is marriage a creation ordinance, it is, by nature, a civil ceremony. When I perform a wedding, I must say, by the power invested in me by the law of the state and by the church, I must mention the state in performing the ceremony. Marriage is, by its nature, a ceremony common to all humanity. It is a civil ceremony, first of all. It is right and honored whether blessed by the church or not. Some have been told that if they fail to marry in the church, they are committing adultery or that their marriage is invalid. This is not true.

Marriage is a community matter, common to the lot of humanity. The law of the state and the authority of the state, as well as the authority of the community at large, are recognized by the church in the performance of marriage. So what of the church when it comes to performing marriages?

We do so, we perform these ceremonies, as permitted by the state and by the community at large. We ourselves are a narrower community within the broader civil community. And we extend the privilege of Christ’s blessing and an environment in which that blessing is reinforced to those who wish and are entitled to Christ’s blessing upon their lives. While it is proper for the community at large to marry and to give in marriage, there are specific guidelines that pertain to the church as it considers marriage as an institution. For we are not the community at large; we are a community within the community.

We are a community of the Lord Jesus Christ. And there are specific demands placed upon us in this regard. So we are told in the Word: “Marry only in the Lord.” “Marry only in the Lord.” This instruction is consistently taught from the Old Testament to the New. Where this instruction is not honored, it is judged. The Israelite was not to marry outside the tribes. He was not to marry outside the faith. In the New Testament, it is the same. You are not to marry outside the faith. Marry in the Lord.

And so the Church, as an institution, as it enters into relationship with the community at large, in the matter of marriage, extends the privilege of marriage in the Church through a clergyman to those who wish and are entitled to the blessing of Christ upon their union, and to them only.

I do not know where you stand. You may hear of a special case that arises even within this congregation, and you may have questions, and you may wonder, who do they think they are? I ask you to reconsider your position in light of the Word of God. The Church is not obliged to marry anyone, and those whom it chooses to marry are those who desire the blessing of Christ upon their union.

Marriage, as it has been understood by the Church, truly according to the Word, has special significance for those who are part of the community of faith, for those who believe the gospel, who have embraced its Savior, and who know the Lord Jesus Christ. Because these people, and these only, see in the marriage relationship a reflection of the relationship that exists between God and His people, between Christ and His Church. And this becomes determinative. Marriage is derived from that greater relationship that exists between God and His own. The marriage relationship then reflects that bond that exists between the great Creator and Redeemer and His people.

In this relationship, it is not surprising to hear the language of Paul as it is written in your bulletin this morning. The language from Ephesians, chapter 5, speaks about the wife in the role of the church, the husband in the role of the Lord Himself, the wife submitting to her husband as the church submits to Christ, and the husband loving the wife as Christ Himself loves the church. Consider also further aspects of this bond, which is exclusive.

That is what makes adultery so terrible. So terrible. God does not break his bond with his people. He does not commit adultery. If that is your standard, then you, bound to him, cannot do that either. You cannot do it. It is an exclusive bond—the one God with his one people, the one man with his one wife. This bond is not meant to be simply severed. Just as terrible as adultery is divorce—the severing of that bond.

Because behind the relationship between a man and a wife is the relationship between God and his people. Therefore, we who are part of the community of faith, within the broader community of humanity, view matters quite differently than the world does. In light of these truths—what marriage is not—and in light of what He would then prepare to examine more deeply the vows and oaths that belong to the ceremony and the institution of marriage itself.

Help us, Lord, in our thinking and in our living. And as we know the truth and affirm the truth in our thoughts, may we also live the truth. May we realize that behind our actions stands the living God and the risen Christ. May we, for love of our God and in devotion to our Savior, conduct ourselves in a way that shows the glories of the gospel and the glories of our faith to all who are around us. O Lord, may we honor marriage as it ought to be honored, and may we bless your name for this great gift to us. And may, Lord, there be joy in our marriages as we understand the nature of the bond that exists in marriage. Cause us, Father, to be a faithful people, as you are a faithful God.

The sermon text provided above is derived from the sermon audio recording making use of generative tools. It has not been manually edited. While transcription tools have a high degree of accuracy, the output may include generative textual, punctuation, and/or formatting errors.