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For our scripture reading this evening.
We’ll be looking at the book of Hebrews again, chapter thirteen.
Our main text for this evening will simply be verse four.
But I’ll start reading in
verse twenty-eight of chapter twelve
for a little bit of context.
Hebrews chapter twelve verse twenty-eight.
Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be
shaken and thus
let us offer to God acceptable worship with reverence and awe for our God is a
consuming fire.
Let brotherly love continue.
Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers
for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
Remember those who are in prison as though in prison with them and those who
are mistreated since you also are in the body.
Let marriage be held in honor among all
and let the marriage bed be undefiled for God will judge the sexually immoral
and adulterous men.
Father in heaven
we come to you and
because we are needy
we are needy people
Lord we have no power
within ourselves
we need your spirit to make this word
alive to us
see what you have for us
so we ask that you would send your spirit you would open up our hearts that we
might hear
what is from you
your words as they are proclaimed you might empower
the proclamation of your word and also the hearing of it
that it might be a blessing to us and that you might be present in this word
we ask this
in Jesus name, amen
you may be seated
imagine for a moment the most breathtaking jewel
you’ve ever seen
one that catches every ray of light sparkling with depth of color
and value that makes
your breath catch in your throat
not something mass-produced or casually displayed but a rare treasure
priceless
handed down
through generations
guarded fiercely
because losing it would mean losing something irreplaceable
that brothers and sisters is how God sees marriage
in verse four
the Holy Spirit says let marriage be held in
honor among all
and the Greek word behind held in honor
is timios
which means precious or costly or priceless
sometimes in Revelation it’s simply translated as jewel
there’s no good way to describe it otherwise
like a jewel of inestimable worth
and God isn’t giving us a mild suggestion here
he’s calling us to treasure marriage
with that kind of awe
and fierce protection which we reserve for that which is truly sacred
think back to the garden
to that tender holy moment
when God looked at Abraham and declared
it is not good for man to be alone
one out of the side of that man
he fashioned Eve
brought her to him
and in Adam’s awestruck voice we hear the heartbeat
of the first true marriage this at last
is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh
from that instant God established marriage
not as an afterthought
not as a cultural option
but as the foundation stone of all human society
before governments rose before friendships deepened
before parents held children
it was marriage
one man and one woman
united in covenant becoming one flesh
launching a new family unit that echoes through generations
and yet marriage is far more than a social foundation
of course it is a living
breathing portrait
of the greatest love story ever told as Paul unveils in Ephesians five
this one flesh mystery is profound
and it points to Christ
and his church
in a world that treats marriage as disposable
optional
or endlessly redefineable
God says no
this is holy ground
this is where my gospel is displayed in flesh and blood
and yet how our hearts ache when we see the jewel trampled
from the garden’s first fracture
blame division and shame
to today’s relentless assaults on God’s design
marriage has been under siege
Satan knows its power as a picture of redemption so he attacks it with fury
redefinitions
casual hookups adultery glorified
covenant
treated as breakable
but we as God’s people
are called to stand against the tide
to prize marriage as precious
to guard its purity to live in such a way
that the world the watching world that glimpses
might see something of Christ’s unbreakable love for us
so this evening consider the truth your marriage
or your future marriage
the marriages around you
is not ordinary
it is a divine masterpiece
a costly jewel entrusted to us by a holy God
who judges what he treasures
may we honor it protect it
and let it shine as a radiant testimony
to the gospel that has washed us clean
and the one who has made us
his own
in light of the great confusion in our day around the
institution of marriage
and the cultural degradation of this holy institution
I thought it would be good for us
to return
and linger on this verse this evening
even though we’ve covered
the broader passage
in a previous
couple weeks ago I thought we would return to verse four
and consider under these three headings
number one prize marriage as precious
number two
preserve the purity of intimacy
and number three pay attention to heaven’s warning
number one prize marriage as precious
Hebrews
thirteen four is telling us to hold marriage in high regard
to think of it as a precious jewel that is worth protecting
as I just mentioned the word held in honor
is that Greek word that sometimes simply gets translated as jewel in other places that it
shows up in the New Testament
this Timios
which is used all over the place to
value to preserve
something that’s precious or pricey and costly
and we should
prize marriage as precious because
it is the foundation of human society
we find this in Genesis chapter two
verse eighteen
Genesis two eighteen then the Lord God said it is not good that man should be alone I
will make him a helper fit for him
skipping down to verse twenty two
that the Lord God had taken from the man
he made into a woman and he brought her to the man
and then the man said this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh
she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man
therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother
and hold fast to his wife
and they shall become one flesh
marriage is something that God created in the very beginning
it’s older than government
older than friendship or parenthood or any other human relationship
and it is
God made marriage to be the foundation
of our entire society
this of course does not mean that those who are not married
are seen as lesser in God’s eyes at all
but all the relationships that we have with one another
are built up from marriage
parents are meant to be so as a result from marriage
siblings come out of marriage
the one relationship which can
unite and join generations together
think of all your in-laws
hopefully you get along with them
but God says the man leaves
father and mother
and cleaves to his wife
God made marriages to be the foundation
level of human society not parenthood
the man sets out from his parents
and establishes a new foundation level entity
by marriage
he and his wife are now their own family unit
that is in some sense is autonomous it is on
equal footing with their parents
marriage
so we should prize marriage highly because it is God’s intended
foundation for human society
we should also prize marriage highly because
it is a picture of Christ and his church
the apostle Paul picks up the quote from Genesis
and explains that when done well especially marriage points
beyond itself
Ephesians chapter five
verses thirty one and thirty three through thirty three
Ephesians chapter five
verse thirty one
therefore a man shall leave
his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one
flesh
this mystery is profound
and I’m saying that it refers to Christ and the church
however
let each one of you love his wife as himself
let the wife see that she respects her husband
marriage is a foundational relationship
but it is only for this life
our marriages in this life will not hold us in exclusive bonds in the next life
and that is because marriage in this life is intended
to help us understand the way that Christ is
with his precious church
the sacrificial love with which a husband
is to lead
and to serve his wife is meant to show us
and the world the way that Christ loves
his bride
the tender affection
a godly husband shows his wife
his attempts to understand her utterly
his honoring
of her and laying down his life to protect her
and to promote her life
is all meant to help us understand
Christ’s deep affection
for his church
in a godly wife’s submission
even to a foolish and stubborn husband
her tender respect for her godly leader, her eagerness to promote, care for
and support her husband
are meant to help
us understand
the people of God
in relation to Christ
if a godly wife can learn to love an imperfect husband
submit to him
and respect him
how much more can we all learn
to do the same with Christ
and just as a wife is receptive to the godly initiative
and leading of her husband so the church
is receptive
to the leading of her beloved
Jesus Christ
a husband and wife who live completely separate lives going their own separate ways
is not a picture of harmonious union
a marriage cannot survive two spouses headed
in opposite directions unless the situation is remedied
and in a similar vein
we ought not to see the church
pursuing a different path and agenda
than the one that Christ is leading and providing
and yet it is easier than you might think
for the church to get off track
and living in a way that demonstrates no dependence on Christ
obvious examples might spring to our mind and abound in the churches
around us in the world
that are actively pursuing the world’s approval rather than God’s
but a lack of dependence on Christ can show up in subtle ways as well
we must ask ourselves continually
as Christ’s bride whether
we too as a church are truly displaying a dependence
upon Christ
in our worship and witness
those of us who are husbands
have the perhaps confusing
to live as a husband to
our wives
and yet as a wife
to Christ
but this is not to diminish our masculinity
but in comparison to Christ all of us are feminine
it is Christ who takes the initiative
the one that we respond to the one whom we submit to
however of course as
a godly wife’s submission doesn’t mean a lack of engagement
even spirited engagement with her husband
so our submission to Christ
is never intended to be merely a sycophantic groveling or a passive disengagement
Christ is never lacking wisdom goodness or perspective
that a godly husband might lack and yet
he calls us to engage with him actively in prayer
and this also of course informs
our view of biblical submission of wives wives are not called
to be passive participants in marriage
merely saying yes sir
to everything that their husband says
a wife is called to active engagement in relationship
with her husband
even when ultimately submitting to a decision she might disagree with
so we prize marriage as precious
because it is not only the foundation of human society but also
a symbolic picture of Christ
Christ’s relationship with his church
and we should also prize marriage as precious because we live in a world that
devalues it
ever since God first instituted marriage between the first man and first woman
it has been under attack
Satan tried to sow division by inciting Eve
against her husband
and when questioned by God Adam immediately blamed his wife for the mess
marriages preeminence in creation order
by God
and as a picture
of Christ’s relationship with his church
have made
his people
have made it a right target
for Satan and sin throughout history
pagan cultures who abandoned
God
God’s revelation and his rule disregarded God’s design
of one man and one woman
in covenantal union
and that spirit
from ancient times has only intensified in our day
we see it all around us
we’ve seen blatant attempts in recent years
to completely redefine marriage through rulings by the Supreme Court
in America
as no longer simply one man and one woman
but simply two individuals
and to include all sorts of other combinations
of men
and women
however not only does this go against God’s original setup but it also distorts
the picture
of Christ and the church
that marriage was meant to be
the command to let marriage be held in high honor
were regarded as precious
valuable
not just for believers in private
but universally
in the Christian community and beyond
and in a culture that often devalues marriage treating it as optional
restrictive or redefineable
Christians are called to buck that trend
by viewing marriage as a divine gift
a sacred institution ordained by God
from creation
one man and one woman
in exclusive covenant
now this high view of marriage strengthens families
it reflects Christ’s love for the church
and it counters worldly attacks on the institution
and practically for us that means
celebrating marriages
supporting married couples
and teaching younger generations its worth
as people of God
we ought to value marriage
in a world that does not value it
and one of the ways that we value it
is also in the next phrase
let the marriage bed be undefiled
and so second
we are to preserve the purity of intimacy
the marriage bed refers to sexual intimacy which God designed as good
a good exclusive gift for husband and wife alone free from shame
within marriage
and to be guarded from any contamination
and this is a primary way that marriage is held in high honor prized as precious
by putting those guards in place
physical intimacy
in marriage is to be guarded and preserved both within marriage
and also by those of us that are not married
within marriage that involves the obvious prohibition against adultery
physically failing
to preserve the bonds of the marriage covenant
even in our secular culture
which misunderstands and fails to value marriage in so many ways
yet ironically still views adultery
with at least mild revulsion
it still understands something
about that extra aspect of breaking your word
the vows that you made to another person
still even in this culture make adultery less than respectable
in a society that misses so much else about marriage
how much more as Christians
because there is still an understanding in the culture
that adultery is not merely a sexual act but on some level a covenant breaking act
a violating of your word
and in light of this as
the text urges us to be on guard I would urge all of us
do not underestimate sexual
temptation
and sexual sin
adultery is not the unforgivable sin
every sin can be forgiven by the blood of Christ
but it does do lasting damage
that may never be fully healed in this life
can be helpful to think about that
on the outside of such a thing
because we sometimes think of King David as a picture of God’s forgiveness
that covers even adultery which is true
but his life also portrays the lasting damage
it can
affect
his adultery damaged him
and his family
even his own son eventually tried to kill him and take his throne
among all the other dysfunctions that
flowed from David’s sin
the man David was a mere shadow of his former self for the rest of his life
after his fall into adultery with Bathsheba
but we too should be on guard because the person committing adultery
this sin never comes out of nowhere
there’s always a gradual lead up
and so all of us ought to be aware if we think we stand lest
we fall
even this week as I was preparing this message I experienced stronger
temptations and spiritual attacks in the area of sexual purity
myself
Satan is on the prowl this is a spiritual battle
there are many
preachers
and teachers
writing books about sexual purity only to fall
days years later
discrediting
much of their witness
none of us is ever beyond the realm of temptation in this area
and every time that we give sin a little bit of flack in our lives
we make it more likely that we’ll give in to the bigger stuff
and so I would urge whether in marriage or out of marriage I would urge all men
and perhaps women
as well to consider internet accountability blocking software
sexual sin is too easy to find online and too easy
to fall into
whether accidentally or on purpose to leave it up
to your own willpower to stop it
feel free to talk to me after the service if you need help
setting something up
or an accountability partner
don’t be ashamed
you’re not strange or weak
you’re simply being wise to proactively deal with the danger of temptation
because let him who thinks he stands
take heed lest he fall
by preserving the purity of the marriage bed
it does mean guarding sexual intimacy
both pre-marriage and singleness and post-marriage within a covenant
and it means guarding our thoughts
as well as our actions
our sexuality is an integral part of who we are
but it is not the most important part of who we are
despite what the culture says
and it is designed by God to be expressed only within the boundary of marriage
there is much to experience about life
much deeper joys
in the Lord
than merely being sexually fulfilled
and even a good marriage
will not satisfy the wandering heart
but intimacy in marriage is more than physical
much of marriage
intimacy is also emotional
marriage is designed to be a place where two people
can be utterly vulnerable with each other
which is why it’s designed to be
within a covenant
becoming one flesh
is more than a physical union
it’s a vulnerability
an intimacy of emotions
and it’s designed to advance our sanctification
marriage is designed not only to point us to Christ but also to make us
more like Christ
of course this does not mean that those who are not married can never be sanctified
God has a multitude of means at his disposal
but for those of you that are married
marriage is one of the most intensely sanctifying tools
in the Holy Spirit’s toolbox
marriage is designed to be enjoyed, deeply enjoyed
but it will be best enjoyed when you pursue its purpose of holiness
holiness of course should not be thought of at odds with joy
and especially in marriage
and the vulnerability in marriage is part of what makes it such a tool for sanctification
our flaws are exposed to another person in a way unlike any other relationship
no one knows us
quite like
our spouse
and as sinful humans
we are so easily deceived
so easily self-deceived especially
we like to think of ourselves as better than we really are
but our spouse
sees us
for better
and for worse
and the beautiful thing of course is
that in a good marriage
they love you anyway
the part of a biblical love in marriage means not only covering the faults
of those that we love
but boldly but kindly
confronting and addressing those areas of sin in the other that are exposed
biblical love between spouses
neither highlights every problem
every possible problem with the other
nor passively overlooks
out of fear or apathy
preserving the purity of intimacy means bringing that piercing power of love
to bear in the most vulnerable spaces
in our marriage
it means allowing ourselves to be
fully known
as well as seeking to fully know
our spouse
this is a godly picture of marriage
and all of these things this
preserving
the purity
as well as holding marriage
prizing it in high
regard
as precious all of this is presented under the shadow of the last phrase of
the verse
for god will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous
and so our third exhortation
this evening is pay attention to heaven’s warning
only three verses prior to this reminder of god’s judgment were told
in verse twenty nine for our god is a consuming fire
but while there are many
positive reasons to prize marriage as precious
and preserve the purity of intimacy there’s also a very negative reason
the judgment
of a holy
holy
holy god
one of the things that this world misses about marriage is that it’s not just an
agreement between two people
jesus addressed this misconception
in matthew chapter nineteen
matthew chapter nineteen verse four
jesus answered
have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male
and female and said
therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife
and the two shall become one flesh
so they are no longer two but one
flesh
what therefore god has joined together let not man
separate
contrary to popular thought
even among the jews in the first century marriage involves more than just an
agreement between
two parties
there is a third party who is also involved
the creator of all
the inventor of marriage
and the magistrate
who has
final authority
to join together
and to separate
with this in view a violation of the marriage covenant is more than an injury
to human parties
it’s an offense against god himself
god created marriage
to be the foundation of human society
to provide stability protection and safety for families
and
to be a living picture of christ relationship with his people
so when individuals within a marriage or outside of it
violate its precious boundaries
they’re attacking something that god cares
about deeply
we also see in scripture
that god sees adultery
as uniquely able to picture idolatry
not only did actual sexual immorality often accompany
pagan worship practices throughout history
but god’s prophets often compare the people of israel’s idolatry
to spiritual adultery
because it was betrayal of the covenant relationship
that they had
with god alone
verse four says to keep the marriage bed undefiled
this word speaks to the constant reference in the old testament
sacrificial system of uncleanness
because sin makes us spiritually
filthy
no matter how much we shower no matter how nicely dress
no matter how much we act nice
and get others even to like us
because of our sin
we’re dripping with filth in god’s sight
sin is not just wrong
but disgusting and revolting to god
he hates sexual immorality more than we can even imagine
our culture only finds a few forms of sexual immorality
slightly revolting
but god finds it all repulsive
the problem for each of us is that he doesn’t just hate it
he’s in a position to do something about it
god’s hatred of sin is not an impotent hatred where he goes off
and wishes that people wouldn’t do it anymore
he is the judge
and he’s in a position
to not only do something about it but he’s required to
that leaves sinners like you and i in a treacherous position
in fact except for god’s intervention it leaves us
without options
the apostle paul
stated it very bluntly in first corinthians chapter six
verses nine through ten
first corinthians chapter six verse nine
do you not know
that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of god
do not be deceived
neither the sexually immoral
nor idolaters nor adulterers
nor men who practice homosexuality
nor thieves nor the greedy
nor drunkards
nor revilers nor swindlers
will inherit the kingdom of god
he says don’t be deceived
with all of the voices around us telling us it’s okay
if it feels good you should do it
there’s a big danger of being deceived
into thinking that sexual immorality is okay
it’s no big deal
sexual immorality
might not be that bad
you might start thinking i can still keep up with church
and all these other christian things while indulging on the side
no one will ever know
what i’m doing
in secret
many a pastor has fallen that way
the bible says do not be deceived
god sees sexual
immorality
and it will exclude you from the kingdom of god
you cannot cling to your sexual immorality and be welcomed
into god’s kingdom
it sounds
pretty dark
but the passage
does not end there
we see in the next verse first corinthians chapter six verse eleven
the hope
and he continues
after listing all of these things and such
were some of you
but you were washed
you were sanctified you were justified
in the name of the lord jesus and by the spirit of our god
so we just had here a list of all the kinds of sins
that keep people out of the kingdom of god
and i’m on that list myself
and yet we find that this same list
is also a list
of all the kinds of people
who will actually be entering the kingdom of god
and the key is in the end
something that god did to these people
you were washed
you were sanctified you were justified
despite the disqualifying filth from sexual immorality these people are
actually set up
to inherit
the kingdom of god that they had forfeited
jesus the son of god took that punishment
the wrath of god
against the sexual immorality of these people
god judged it in jesus
jesus died and he was punished
disinherited
so that they could be washed
and sanctified and justified
and he was raised of course to give them new life
and this washing sanctifying
and justifying was done by
the holy spirit
he took what jesus did for them
and applied it to them
so that as they repented of their sin and put their trust
in christ
this is what was done for them
and so despite
the sexual immorality
of you
and i the same can be said of you
and such
were
some of you
in christ you can be free
free from the filth
of sin and fear
of god’s judgment
but beyond that you can be free to fight its temptation with divine power
and so here as we close
let us prize marriage as precious
a divine jewel far more valuable than any earthly treasure
to preserve the purity of intimacy guarding the marriage bed as something
sacred
and undefiled and pay attention to heaven’s warning
for god will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous
and here’s the gospel of course that changes everything that jesus bore
the judgment we deserve
and across he was crushed
under the full weight of every
sexual
sin
every betrayal
of confident purity
he was condemned
so that we could be washed clean
he died so that we could be sanctified and rose so that we could be justified
as it says and such were some of you
but you were washed
sanctified
you were justified in the name of the lord jesus
and by the spirit of our god
take comfort if you have fallen in this area
whether in thought
or word or deed
do not despair
run to christ this evening today
confess and repent
and receive his mercy
he does not leave us in our filth he washes us clean
and empowers us to walk by his spirit in the newness of life
and for those of you this evening
walking faithfully still press on
guard your heart
cherish your spouse
teach the next generation
and let marriage shine as a testimony to the gospel
and in doing so you not only honor god’s design
you point the world
to the ultimate bridegroom
who is coming again
for his spotless bride
let’s pray
our father in heaven we thank you that you have given us
this gift of marriage
though it is
for this age only and though you have not
called all of us to this calling
yet we thank you that all of us are
included
in the marriage supper of the lamb all of us are included
in the marriage which all marriages point to
and all of us are included in the joy
which is in store
which
overshadows which puts to shame which
makes all joys
in this life pale
in comparison that joy
union
with our lord the one who laid down his life for us jesus christ
lord we ask for your spirit
empower us to walk
in this
godly
faithfulness
whether in marriage
without that we might value and prize this institution
for the sake of christ and his glory we pray this
in jesus’ name
well in closing
let’s turn now and
in response
sing hymn 471
the sands of time are sinking