Holding Marriage in High Honor

Sermon transcript

For our scripture reading this evening. We’ll be looking at the book of Hebrews again, chapter thirteen. Our main text for this evening will simply be verse four. But I’ll start reading in verse twenty-eight of chapter twelve for a little bit of context. Hebrews chapter twelve verse twenty-eight. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship with reverence and awe for our God is a consuming fire. Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember those who are in prison as though in prison with them and those who are mistreated since you also are in the body. Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous men.

Father in heaven we come to you and because we are needy we are needy people Lord we have no power within ourselves we need your spirit to make this word alive to us see what you have for us so we ask that you would send your spirit you would open up our hearts that we might hear what is from you your words as they are proclaimed you might empower the proclamation of your word and also the hearing of it that it might be a blessing to us and that you might be present in this word we ask this in Jesus name, amen you may be seated imagine for a moment the most breathtaking jewel you’ve ever seen one that catches every ray of light sparkling with depth of color and value that makes your breath catch in your throat not something mass-produced or casually displayed but a rare treasure priceless handed down through generations guarded fiercely because losing it would mean losing something irreplaceable that brothers and sisters is how God sees marriage in verse four the Holy Spirit says let marriage be held in honor among all and the Greek word behind held in honor is timios which means precious or costly or priceless sometimes in Revelation it’s simply translated as jewel there’s no good way to describe it otherwise like a jewel of inestimable worth and God isn’t giving us a mild suggestion here he’s calling us to treasure marriage with that kind of awe and fierce protection which we reserve for that which is truly sacred think back to the garden to that tender holy moment when God looked at Abraham and declared it is not good for man to be alone one out of the side of that man he fashioned Eve brought her to him and in Adam’s awestruck voice we hear the heartbeat of the first true marriage this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh from that instant God established marriage not as an afterthought not as a cultural option but as the foundation stone of all human society before governments rose before friendships deepened before parents held children it was marriage one man and one woman united in covenant becoming one flesh launching a new family unit that echoes through generations and yet marriage is far more than a social foundation of course it is a living breathing portrait of the greatest love story ever told as Paul unveils in Ephesians five this one flesh mystery is profound and it points to Christ and his church in a world that treats marriage as disposable optional or endlessly redefineable God says no this is holy ground this is where my gospel is displayed in flesh and blood and yet how our hearts ache when we see the jewel trampled from the garden’s first fracture blame division and shame to today’s relentless assaults on God’s design marriage has been under siege Satan knows its power as a picture of redemption so he attacks it with fury redefinitions casual hookups adultery glorified covenant treated as breakable but we as God’s people are called to stand against the tide to prize marriage as precious to guard its purity to live in such a way that the world the watching world that glimpses might see something of Christ’s unbreakable love for us so this evening consider the truth your marriage or your future marriage the marriages around you is not ordinary it is a divine masterpiece a costly jewel entrusted to us by a holy God who judges what he treasures may we honor it protect it and let it shine as a radiant testimony to the gospel that has washed us clean and the one who has made us his own in light of the great confusion in our day around the institution of marriage and the cultural degradation of this holy institution I thought it would be good for us to return and linger on this verse this evening even though we’ve covered the broader passage in a previous couple weeks ago I thought we would return to verse four and consider under these three headings number one prize marriage as precious number two preserve the purity of intimacy and number three pay attention to heaven’s warning number one prize marriage as precious Hebrews thirteen four is telling us to hold marriage in high regard to think of it as a precious jewel that is worth protecting as I just mentioned the word held in honor is that Greek word that sometimes simply gets translated as jewel in other places that it shows up in the New Testament this Timios which is used all over the place to value to preserve something that’s precious or pricey and costly and we should prize marriage as precious because it is the foundation of human society we find this in Genesis chapter two verse eighteen Genesis two eighteen then the Lord God said it is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helper fit for him skipping down to verse twenty two that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and he brought her to the man and then the man said this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh marriage is something that God created in the very beginning it’s older than government older than friendship or parenthood or any other human relationship and it is God made marriage to be the foundation of our entire society this of course does not mean that those who are not married are seen as lesser in God’s eyes at all but all the relationships that we have with one another are built up from marriage parents are meant to be so as a result from marriage siblings come out of marriage the one relationship which can unite and join generations together think of all your in-laws hopefully you get along with them but God says the man leaves father and mother and cleaves to his wife God made marriages to be the foundation level of human society not parenthood the man sets out from his parents and establishes a new foundation level entity by marriage he and his wife are now their own family unit that is in some sense is autonomous it is on equal footing with their parents marriage so we should prize marriage highly because it is God’s intended foundation for human society we should also prize marriage highly because it is a picture of Christ and his church the apostle Paul picks up the quote from Genesis and explains that when done well especially marriage points beyond itself Ephesians chapter five verses thirty one and thirty three through thirty three Ephesians chapter five verse thirty one therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this mystery is profound and I’m saying that it refers to Christ and the church however let each one of you love his wife as himself let the wife see that she respects her husband marriage is a foundational relationship but it is only for this life our marriages in this life will not hold us in exclusive bonds in the next life and that is because marriage in this life is intended to help us understand the way that Christ is with his precious church the sacrificial love with which a husband is to lead and to serve his wife is meant to show us and the world the way that Christ loves his bride the tender affection a godly husband shows his wife his attempts to understand her utterly his honoring of her and laying down his life to protect her and to promote her life is all meant to help us understand Christ’s deep affection for his church in a godly wife’s submission even to a foolish and stubborn husband her tender respect for her godly leader, her eagerness to promote, care for and support her husband are meant to help us understand the people of God in relation to Christ if a godly wife can learn to love an imperfect husband submit to him and respect him how much more can we all learn to do the same with Christ and just as a wife is receptive to the godly initiative and leading of her husband so the church is receptive to the leading of her beloved Jesus Christ a husband and wife who live completely separate lives going their own separate ways is not a picture of harmonious union a marriage cannot survive two spouses headed in opposite directions unless the situation is remedied and in a similar vein we ought not to see the church pursuing a different path and agenda than the one that Christ is leading and providing and yet it is easier than you might think for the church to get off track and living in a way that demonstrates no dependence on Christ obvious examples might spring to our mind and abound in the churches around us in the world that are actively pursuing the world’s approval rather than God’s but a lack of dependence on Christ can show up in subtle ways as well we must ask ourselves continually as Christ’s bride whether we too as a church are truly displaying a dependence upon Christ in our worship and witness those of us who are husbands have the perhaps confusing to live as a husband to our wives and yet as a wife to Christ but this is not to diminish our masculinity but in comparison to Christ all of us are feminine it is Christ who takes the initiative the one that we respond to the one whom we submit to however of course as a godly wife’s submission doesn’t mean a lack of engagement even spirited engagement with her husband so our submission to Christ is never intended to be merely a sycophantic groveling or a passive disengagement Christ is never lacking wisdom goodness or perspective that a godly husband might lack and yet he calls us to engage with him actively in prayer and this also of course informs our view of biblical submission of wives wives are not called to be passive participants in marriage merely saying yes sir to everything that their husband says a wife is called to active engagement in relationship with her husband even when ultimately submitting to a decision she might disagree with so we prize marriage as precious because it is not only the foundation of human society but also a symbolic picture of Christ Christ’s relationship with his church and we should also prize marriage as precious because we live in a world that devalues it ever since God first instituted marriage between the first man and first woman it has been under attack Satan tried to sow division by inciting Eve against her husband and when questioned by God Adam immediately blamed his wife for the mess marriages preeminence in creation order by God and as a picture of Christ’s relationship with his church have made his people have made it a right target for Satan and sin throughout history pagan cultures who abandoned God God’s revelation and his rule disregarded God’s design of one man and one woman in covenantal union and that spirit from ancient times has only intensified in our day we see it all around us we’ve seen blatant attempts in recent years to completely redefine marriage through rulings by the Supreme Court in America as no longer simply one man and one woman but simply two individuals and to include all sorts of other combinations of men and women however not only does this go against God’s original setup but it also distorts the picture of Christ and the church that marriage was meant to be the command to let marriage be held in high honor were regarded as precious valuable not just for believers in private but universally in the Christian community and beyond and in a culture that often devalues marriage treating it as optional restrictive or redefineable Christians are called to buck that trend by viewing marriage as a divine gift a sacred institution ordained by God from creation one man and one woman in exclusive covenant now this high view of marriage strengthens families it reflects Christ’s love for the church and it counters worldly attacks on the institution and practically for us that means celebrating marriages supporting married couples and teaching younger generations its worth as people of God we ought to value marriage in a world that does not value it and one of the ways that we value it is also in the next phrase let the marriage bed be undefiled and so second we are to preserve the purity of intimacy the marriage bed refers to sexual intimacy which God designed as good a good exclusive gift for husband and wife alone free from shame within marriage and to be guarded from any contamination and this is a primary way that marriage is held in high honor prized as precious by putting those guards in place physical intimacy in marriage is to be guarded and preserved both within marriage and also by those of us that are not married within marriage that involves the obvious prohibition against adultery physically failing to preserve the bonds of the marriage covenant even in our secular culture which misunderstands and fails to value marriage in so many ways yet ironically still views adultery with at least mild revulsion it still understands something about that extra aspect of breaking your word the vows that you made to another person still even in this culture make adultery less than respectable in a society that misses so much else about marriage how much more as Christians because there is still an understanding in the culture that adultery is not merely a sexual act but on some level a covenant breaking act a violating of your word and in light of this as the text urges us to be on guard I would urge all of us do not underestimate sexual temptation and sexual sin adultery is not the unforgivable sin every sin can be forgiven by the blood of Christ but it does do lasting damage that may never be fully healed in this life can be helpful to think about that on the outside of such a thing because we sometimes think of King David as a picture of God’s forgiveness that covers even adultery which is true but his life also portrays the lasting damage it can affect his adultery damaged him and his family even his own son eventually tried to kill him and take his throne among all the other dysfunctions that flowed from David’s sin the man David was a mere shadow of his former self for the rest of his life after his fall into adultery with Bathsheba but we too should be on guard because the person committing adultery this sin never comes out of nowhere there’s always a gradual lead up and so all of us ought to be aware if we think we stand lest we fall even this week as I was preparing this message I experienced stronger temptations and spiritual attacks in the area of sexual purity myself Satan is on the prowl this is a spiritual battle there are many preachers and teachers writing books about sexual purity only to fall days years later discrediting much of their witness none of us is ever beyond the realm of temptation in this area and every time that we give sin a little bit of flack in our lives we make it more likely that we’ll give in to the bigger stuff and so I would urge whether in marriage or out of marriage I would urge all men and perhaps women as well to consider internet accountability blocking software sexual sin is too easy to find online and too easy to fall into whether accidentally or on purpose to leave it up to your own willpower to stop it feel free to talk to me after the service if you need help setting something up or an accountability partner don’t be ashamed you’re not strange or weak you’re simply being wise to proactively deal with the danger of temptation because let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall by preserving the purity of the marriage bed it does mean guarding sexual intimacy both pre-marriage and singleness and post-marriage within a covenant and it means guarding our thoughts as well as our actions our sexuality is an integral part of who we are but it is not the most important part of who we are despite what the culture says and it is designed by God to be expressed only within the boundary of marriage there is much to experience about life much deeper joys in the Lord than merely being sexually fulfilled and even a good marriage will not satisfy the wandering heart but intimacy in marriage is more than physical much of marriage intimacy is also emotional marriage is designed to be a place where two people can be utterly vulnerable with each other which is why it’s designed to be within a covenant becoming one flesh is more than a physical union it’s a vulnerability an intimacy of emotions and it’s designed to advance our sanctification marriage is designed not only to point us to Christ but also to make us more like Christ of course this does not mean that those who are not married can never be sanctified God has a multitude of means at his disposal but for those of you that are married marriage is one of the most intensely sanctifying tools in the Holy Spirit’s toolbox marriage is designed to be enjoyed, deeply enjoyed but it will be best enjoyed when you pursue its purpose of holiness holiness of course should not be thought of at odds with joy and especially in marriage and the vulnerability in marriage is part of what makes it such a tool for sanctification our flaws are exposed to another person in a way unlike any other relationship no one knows us quite like our spouse and as sinful humans we are so easily deceived so easily self-deceived especially we like to think of ourselves as better than we really are but our spouse sees us for better and for worse and the beautiful thing of course is that in a good marriage they love you anyway the part of a biblical love in marriage means not only covering the faults of those that we love but boldly but kindly confronting and addressing those areas of sin in the other that are exposed biblical love between spouses neither highlights every problem every possible problem with the other nor passively overlooks out of fear or apathy preserving the purity of intimacy means bringing that piercing power of love to bear in the most vulnerable spaces in our marriage it means allowing ourselves to be fully known as well as seeking to fully know our spouse this is a godly picture of marriage and all of these things this preserving the purity as well as holding marriage prizing it in high regard as precious all of this is presented under the shadow of the last phrase of the verse for god will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous and so our third exhortation this evening is pay attention to heaven’s warning only three verses prior to this reminder of god’s judgment were told in verse twenty nine for our god is a consuming fire but while there are many positive reasons to prize marriage as precious and preserve the purity of intimacy there’s also a very negative reason the judgment of a holy holy holy god one of the things that this world misses about marriage is that it’s not just an agreement between two people jesus addressed this misconception in matthew chapter nineteen matthew chapter nineteen verse four jesus answered have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh so they are no longer two but one flesh what therefore god has joined together let not man separate contrary to popular thought even among the jews in the first century marriage involves more than just an agreement between two parties there is a third party who is also involved the creator of all the inventor of marriage and the magistrate who has final authority to join together and to separate with this in view a violation of the marriage covenant is more than an injury to human parties it’s an offense against god himself god created marriage to be the foundation of human society to provide stability protection and safety for families and to be a living picture of christ relationship with his people so when individuals within a marriage or outside of it violate its precious boundaries they’re attacking something that god cares about deeply we also see in scripture that god sees adultery as uniquely able to picture idolatry not only did actual sexual immorality often accompany pagan worship practices throughout history but god’s prophets often compare the people of israel’s idolatry to spiritual adultery because it was betrayal of the covenant relationship that they had with god alone verse four says to keep the marriage bed undefiled this word speaks to the constant reference in the old testament sacrificial system of uncleanness because sin makes us spiritually filthy no matter how much we shower no matter how nicely dress no matter how much we act nice and get others even to like us because of our sin we’re dripping with filth in god’s sight sin is not just wrong but disgusting and revolting to god he hates sexual immorality more than we can even imagine our culture only finds a few forms of sexual immorality slightly revolting but god finds it all repulsive the problem for each of us is that he doesn’t just hate it he’s in a position to do something about it god’s hatred of sin is not an impotent hatred where he goes off and wishes that people wouldn’t do it anymore he is the judge and he’s in a position to not only do something about it but he’s required to that leaves sinners like you and i in a treacherous position in fact except for god’s intervention it leaves us without options the apostle paul stated it very bluntly in first corinthians chapter six verses nine through ten first corinthians chapter six verse nine do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of god do not be deceived neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who practice homosexuality nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor revilers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of god he says don’t be deceived with all of the voices around us telling us it’s okay if it feels good you should do it there’s a big danger of being deceived into thinking that sexual immorality is okay it’s no big deal sexual immorality might not be that bad you might start thinking i can still keep up with church and all these other christian things while indulging on the side no one will ever know what i’m doing in secret many a pastor has fallen that way the bible says do not be deceived god sees sexual immorality and it will exclude you from the kingdom of god you cannot cling to your sexual immorality and be welcomed into god’s kingdom it sounds pretty dark but the passage does not end there we see in the next verse first corinthians chapter six verse eleven the hope and he continues after listing all of these things and such were some of you but you were washed you were sanctified you were justified in the name of the lord jesus and by the spirit of our god so we just had here a list of all the kinds of sins that keep people out of the kingdom of god and i’m on that list myself and yet we find that this same list is also a list of all the kinds of people who will actually be entering the kingdom of god and the key is in the end something that god did to these people you were washed you were sanctified you were justified despite the disqualifying filth from sexual immorality these people are actually set up to inherit the kingdom of god that they had forfeited jesus the son of god took that punishment the wrath of god against the sexual immorality of these people god judged it in jesus jesus died and he was punished disinherited so that they could be washed and sanctified and justified and he was raised of course to give them new life and this washing sanctifying and justifying was done by the holy spirit he took what jesus did for them and applied it to them so that as they repented of their sin and put their trust in christ this is what was done for them and so despite the sexual immorality of you and i the same can be said of you and such were some of you in christ you can be free free from the filth of sin and fear of god’s judgment but beyond that you can be free to fight its temptation with divine power and so here as we close let us prize marriage as precious a divine jewel far more valuable than any earthly treasure to preserve the purity of intimacy guarding the marriage bed as something sacred and undefiled and pay attention to heaven’s warning for god will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous and here’s the gospel of course that changes everything that jesus bore the judgment we deserve and across he was crushed under the full weight of every sexual sin every betrayal of confident purity he was condemned so that we could be washed clean he died so that we could be sanctified and rose so that we could be justified as it says and such were some of you but you were washed sanctified you were justified in the name of the lord jesus and by the spirit of our god take comfort if you have fallen in this area whether in thought or word or deed do not despair run to christ this evening today confess and repent and receive his mercy he does not leave us in our filth he washes us clean and empowers us to walk by his spirit in the newness of life and for those of you this evening walking faithfully still press on guard your heart cherish your spouse teach the next generation and let marriage shine as a testimony to the gospel and in doing so you not only honor god’s design you point the world to the ultimate bridegroom who is coming again for his spotless bride let’s pray our father in heaven we thank you that you have given us this gift of marriage though it is for this age only and though you have not called all of us to this calling yet we thank you that all of us are included in the marriage supper of the lamb all of us are included in the marriage which all marriages point to and all of us are included in the joy which is in store which overshadows which puts to shame which makes all joys in this life pale in comparison that joy union with our lord the one who laid down his life for us jesus christ lord we ask for your spirit empower us to walk in this godly faithfulness whether in marriage without that we might value and prize this institution for the sake of christ and his glory we pray this in jesus’ name well in closing let’s turn now and in response sing hymn 471 the sands of time are sinking

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