This sermon is from the Rev. Charles G. Dennison sermon archive, part of the “Ephesians 5-6” series, and was preached at Grace Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Sewickley, PA, during a worship service on Sunday, October 20, 1996.
About this sermon
Ephesians 5:22’s instruction to wives offends modern ears, and the text makes no effort to soften it. Genesis 2 gives the older pattern, in which God made woman, in a real sense, for the wedding itself. Depravity on both sides ruins marriage, and both a husband’s love and a wife’s submission rest finally in Christ.
Sermon transcript
Genesis 2, verse 18, this is the word of God. And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help meet for him. And out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them. And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found, and help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept.
And he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. and the rib which the Lord God hath taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. and they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives. even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery that I speak concerning Christ and the Church.
Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Father, if we are to speak about submission and love, we know that we must speak about the submission and love of Christ, which is the fountain for our obedience. Lord, help us to see these matters well and clearly. in light of his obedience and what that means for us. Father, even as we approach your word, may it be with the submission and the love of Christ. May we have submission to your word and a love for it. Bless us, O God, even as you are pleased to glorify yourself in us. Amen.
Now, we must do away with the notion that the only reason Paul wrote what he did in Ephesians 5 and 6 is because the society in which he lived was able and willing to accept it. We must do away with the notion that the only reason Paul wrote what he did in Ephesians 5 and 6 is because the society in which he lived was willing to accept what he had to say. Some in the Church are now contending that that society in which Paul lived, unlike our own, tolerated and even expected statements like, wives, be subject to your own husbands. We, of course, being the moderns that we are, not only cannot but must not live by such standards.
Such is the mantra of modern liberal fundamentalism. Yes, you heard me correctly. Modern liberal fundamentalism. I know fundamentalism is usually that term we reserve for those backwater people, those ignorant bumpkins who know nothing, who live only by their prejudices, who are not impressed by historical research or responsible reasoning. But I am bold to declare to you that there is a liberal fundamentalism that is fiercely prejudicial and impervious to all genuine historical research and responsible reasoning. Don’t let them call you the fundamentalists. The truth of the matter is that Paul’s words were no more popular in the first century than they are in the twentieth.
That’s why he wrote them. He wrote them because women in the Church of Ephesus, and women in other churches to which even this letter came, needed to hear them. just as surely as women continue to need to hear them until Christ comes again. But to suggest such a thing also suggests that Paul is laying bare here a nerve aggravated in the most basic way when it comes to the condition and composition of women as such.
We are dealing with a threat to women as ancient to her as the Garden of Eden. Consider Eve in her original estate. She is literally created for the purpose of being a bride. Think of it. Eve was created having never known a moment when she wasn’t a wife. Her first conscious moments are of her presentation to her husband. From the beginning, then, women and weddings belong wonderfully together.
Now, the habit of this sinfully cynical world, especially sinfully cynical males, is to mock and scoff at the genuine, legitimate emotion women demonstrate over the subject of weddings. But such emotion belongs to woman rightly. and it rises from the very center of her being. She need not apologize for it, she need not be ashamed of it, since it belongs to her very soul.
Still, This is a sinful world in which we live, one in which women, even in the propriety of their joy about weddings, can be subverted through their own depravity. That which was to the woman originally a superlative joy and a glory, can actually become an occasion for stumbling. And so severe is the seduction here, to which her soul can be subject that she may deny any connection to the joy in which she was originally created. She may generate from within herself even a hatred, a self-hatred, a hatred for what testimony yet remains in her with regard to her original state. She may even hold in contempt God’s ordinance, marriage itself, and if married, whatever suggests within that union, her husband’s rightful place of headship. Or, in this sinful world, her depravity may take another turn. Sin twists things so much that rather than rebelling against God’s creation ordinance—marriage, women may wrongly latch on to that creation ordinance, making of it something far removed from God’s intention.
You see, a woman may take this God-ordained bond between herself and weddings, and make marriage in all of its extended domain her own peculiar property, her own unique province, her private estate. She may, by her own methods, selfishly rule her domestic empire with a certain kind of ruthless possessiveness. Tragically, in some cases, she may actually view her husband utilitarianly, tolerated only because he is useful in the interests of the empire. Children, as products of her husband’s usefulness, belong to her. And in the extremities of this sinful reasoning, these children may even be judged while they yet remain in her womb to be subject to her whim, and to her decision as to whether they will live or die.
Sin is serious business. It takes lives. In the face of the many facets of human sinfulness, the very sinfulness facing Christian women at Ephesus and Christian women in Pittsburgh, Paul says these words, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands in the Lord.
But now I want you to remember the force of those last words, in the Lord. Paul means by those words, in the Lord, a submission to the husband which compares to the submission the church renders to her Lord, Jesus Christ himself. Here is the pattern, here is the paradigm for the wife’s submission, as verses 23 and 24 in Ephesians 5 make very clear. But these words, in the Lord, say more.
They also introduce a limit to that obedience and that submission the woman owes to her husband. Her obedience and her submission is in the law. This phrase even delimiting and circumscribing the words in everything that appear at the end of verse 24 that are set in parallel in this context. Her obedience in the Lord, her submission in the Lord delimits and circumscribes even those words in everything that appear later on in verse 24. In other words, Paul’s command that she obey and submit herself to her husband does not call her to disobey her Lord. and the expression of her Lord’s will for her life as revealed in his word.
Let me give you an example. Should a Christian woman obey her husband when he tells her she must have an abortion? Let’s go a step further. Should a Christian woman obey her husband when he says, I forbid you to go to church? Many women have used less than excuse. But I hope that none of you will ever use that one.
For obedience is in and to the Lord. But further, these words in the Lord specify the submission itself. These words, in the Lord, specifically refer to the submission itself. In other words, she submits in the Lord Jesus Christ, through the Lord Jesus, whose own submission in becoming the Savior of the body has meant her salvation. A salvation in which His perfect submission becomes the submission by grace in which and from which she lives. This magnifies grace. The submission commanded is not found within her, in her natural condition. It is found in Christ. and in the grace that resides in him.
But as you well know, we have only covered half the story, thus the very long sermon this morning. For Cal goes on to say, Husbands, love your wives. But here we can follow the very same line that we followed with the women. For men are just as much in need of this message from Paul, be they living in Pittsburgh now or in Ephesus in the first century, and they shall be in need of it until Christ returns. So much is this the case that Paul’s instruction here strikes deeply into the condition and composition of men as such. Paul’s admonition and his imperative counters a threat to men as ancient as the Garden of Eden.
Consider Adam in his original state. Think about him. There was a time, and this in contrast to his wife, There was a time when Adam wasn’t married, when he was in the garden by himself. But then, through the action of God, he was no longer alone. He moved through a transition from one estate to another. He moved, as it were, from what we might call one world to another. After the creation of his wife, nothing would ever again be the same.
But you might also have noticed in this transition that it is a transition effected through a death-like sleep for Adam, and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, Genesis 2.21.
Even in the garden, the death to one world that another world might be beheld is proclaimed. Even in the garden, the death of self that Adam might awaken to a greater and higher blessing is proclaimed. All of this symbolically communicated and telegraphed to you in Genesis chapter 2. Even the death of self that another might be brought to life, is being proclaimed. All that is in view here is directly attacked in this fallen world. It is attacked by Satan, to whom Adam succumbs.
Adam was moved by God in his innocence. even here, prior to the fall, to his greater and higher destiny as symbolized in his wife. But now, in their fallen condition, Adam’s male descendants may despise their destiny and express that contempt by their hatred for something as common as the ordinance of marriage itself. and in marriage, the man may ignore or counterman the divine call to headship. He may prove himself to be more feminine in his relationship to his wife than his wife is in herself. Or he may prove to be an ogre, an overbearing ogre, a dictator and an autocrat. so perverting the true intention of God’s call to headship, so as to standardize that call by his own brutality, his crude insensitivities, and his callous arrogance. Or his depravity may take yet another turn.
For you see, just as the woman in her sin claims for herself her first estate as her own particular personal domain, that the estate of marriage and the home, so the man does the same with regard to his first estate. He claims his first estate when he was independent of the woman as his native domain. He has his own utilitarian views. he’s useful, that I’m independent. And even in marriage, he demands his independence, refusing to be controlled or managed by the constraints of a life in which he is bound to another. He must have his freedom, and he will find any number of ingenious ways to assert his right to that freedom.
He will stay out and he won’t come home. She won’t have any idea where he is. He doesn’t drink because he likes it. He drinks because it’s an expression of his freedom. He prefers the business world. He prefers traveling. He prefers being away from home. He likes it. It’s the world of his freedom. Even in marriage, he demands his independence, refusing to be controlled or managed by the constraints of a life in which he is bound to others. This is what it means to him to be a man.
Now, he may not have bought yet his oversized four-wheel drive vehicle. You know, the ones with the huge wheels. He may not have yet grown all the facial hair his face can carry and allowed the hair to connect between his eyebrows so that he can drive up behind people on the freeway with his headlights on, an inch off their bumper, and stare at them. Oh, that’s real manliness.
That’s what it means to be a man. But you might find him down at Three Rivers Stadium on a Sunday afternoon getting blind-eyed drunk at a tailgate party, acting like an idiot. That’s what it means to be a man. Such people are not men. At best they are boys, seemingly forever surrounding themselves with their fantasies and their toys.
And for the sake of their independence, their toys and their fantasies, they may even walk out of their homes and desert their families to their eternal Do you hear what Paul says in 1 Timothy 5 about the man who refuses to take care of his own household? The lights are coming on.
A man who does not take care of his own household, Paul says, is worse than an unbeliever. Can you imagine worse than an unbeliever? I mean, we’re at the lowest circle of hell now, aren’t we? In a world filled with all these forms of wickedness, Paul says sincerely and bravely to the men of the church, Husbands, love your wives.
He sets before them in a most extensive appeal, as you work your way to the end of the fifth chapter in Ephesians, the rationale for his command. The men to whom he speaks are Christians, and he appeals to them as such. And because they are in the Lord Jesus, it is the Lord Jesus who determines their behavior. The Lord Jesus Christ so loved his wife, the church, that he gave his life for her.”
Not a love, therefore, that denies headship, but accepts it. And in accepting it, acts upon it in giving loving sacrifice. Loving self-sacrifice. Not a love that rationalizes its own profound immaturity by demanding a prized independence that always ensures its freedom.
Rather, this love is perfect in its performance, providing the saving reservoir into the saving reservoir, into which sinful men must be submerged in salvation. That what lies at the root of their primal conscience may be cleansed and healed, that they may be who they were created to be by living in the one who surrendered himself to a sleep-like death, was wounded for the sake of the creation of his wife, was awakened to behold her who is the extension of his own body, who is now his very own flesh. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church, and gave himself for her.
And in this, discover who you really are. And wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands in the And in this, discover who you really are. Again, O God, we thank you for the submission of Christ and his love. We thank you, our God, that this submission and love is made available to us, and that whether we are wives or husbands, we might know, O God, the glories of his obedience and his faithfulness. It may well be, O God, that we are single, that we are not married. Yet, Lord, here is a submission that is common to all, and here is a love that belongs to us all, to be shown within the family of God, the Church of Jesus Christ, his very own body. Father, bless us, then, as a submissive and loving family.
The sermon text provided above is derived from the sermon audio recording making use of generative tools. It has not been manually edited. While transcription tools have a high degree of accuracy, the output may include generative textual, punctuation, and/or formatting errors.



