The Witness of True Beauty

Sermon transcript

Please remain standing for the reading of God’s Word as we continue to make our way through 1st Peter, the Apostle Peter’s first epistle, and we find ourselves this evening in 1st Peter chapter 3 verses 1 through 7. I’m going to read verses 1 through 5 to kind of fill out the context a little bit. Let us hear God’s Holy Word as as Peter is addressing the subject of how believers are to relate to those outside of the church, and that includes not only the civil magistrates and relationships between servants and their masters, but also relationships within the household. So let us hear God’s Word. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, and the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious, for this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord, and you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. The grass withers and the flower fades, but the word of our God endures forever. Let’s pray. Our Lord and Father in heaven, once again we pray that by your spirit you would give us insight into this portion of Scripture, help us Lord to understand this passage in its context and to understand how it applies to the church and to your people today, and we ask that you would set a guard over my lips that I might speak only that which is faithful to your word, edifying to your people, and in a way that brings glory to your holy name. In Jesus name we pray, and all of God’s people said.

Amen. You may be seated. The title of my sermon this evening is The Witness of True Beauty, and if you’re following along in your sermon outline, if you find this helpful, especially commend this to the children. I encourage you to listen for the keywords that are listed in your sermon outline to help you follow along with this sermon. Well, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, what the Word of God teaches about the responsibilities of the wife and of the husband within the marriage relationship is a tremendously important topic, and it’s sadly a tremendously misunderstood topic as well. As I’m sure many of you know, there is a great deal of confusion today on topics related to marriage, family life, and especially the topic of the roles and responsibilities of husband and wife within the marriage relationship.

Just to give a few examples of the confusion that is out there, I first of all would present to you the confusion produced by, for example, radical feminism. I know that’s a term that is kind of an umbrella term that can include many things, and I’ll just lay my cards on the table and say I don’t claim to be any kind of expert on the topic of feminism, but based on what I’ve read or what I’ve seen, based on my understanding, it’s my understanding that some radical feminists are highly critical and even opposed to the very institution of marriage itself, viewing marriage as a tool of an oppressive patriarchy that pushes women down instead of building them up. However, insofar as radical feminists are willing to allow for the institution of marriage, they would no doubt advocate for the complete obliteration of any distinctive gender roles for husband and wife within the marriage relationship, and that’s one extreme.

But then the pendulum swings to the other side, and on the other extreme of the ideological spectrum, there are what we might describe as hypermasculinist or hyperpatriarchal ideologies that in effect end up promoting the complete and the unquestioned domination of the husband over the wife and the complete and unquestioned subjugation of the wife within the marriage relationship. And I think in our own circles that there are, this would be more of a problem potentially than the other side of the ideological spectrum with radical feminism. And so in effect, my friends, some advocates of this position end up basically patronizing and even infantilizing the wife to the point where she is not allowed to think or speak for herself and must unquestioningly cater to her husband’s every wish and whim, no matter how unreasonable, demeaning, or even abusive.

Just to give you kind of an illustration of this, and again I’m not an expert on the modern trends of patriarchalism either, but I recently watched a sermon clip of a particular pastor, and I believe this gentleman was a Baptist pastor, and in his sermon he was giving an illustration. He was talking about how one evening he walks into his living room and he sees his wife reading a book, a book on the subject of infant baptism. It was a book that was favorable towards infant baptism, and this particular pastor said in his sermon that he went over to his wife and he said, oh no, you can’t read that. No, no, no, you’re not going to get ahead of me on this. At the proper time we can read this together, but let me read it first, and then we can sit down and read it together.

Basically saying, no, I won’t let you study theology or study the scriptures on your own without my micromanaging oversight. And maybe this is unkind of me as I watched this sermon clip, but I remember thinking to myself at the time, what a pathetic man, what a sad man who is so intimidated that his wife wants to study the word and to read theology without his micromanaging oversight. Friends, just as radical feminists might point to passages like this one as an example of how supposedly outdated and backwards the Bible is, on the other extreme no doubt there are abusive husbands who profess to be Christians who might appeal to passages like this one in order to justify or excuse their abusive behavior and in order to emotionally manipulate and beat down their battered wives into an unquestioning and total subservience.

But friends, I would suggest to you that both of these types of extremes, whether we’re talking about the extreme of radical feminism or the opposite extreme of hyper patriarchalism, both of these extremes are a twisting of scripture and I believe represent a gross mishandling of God’s holy word. And it is because of such extreme and ungodly scripture twisting that it’s because of these things that getting a clear understanding of what our passage for this evening means is so vitally important to rightly handling and rightly interpreting and applying the word of God. Now let’s remember the broader context of our passage for this evening. The broader context basically starts in chapter 2 verse 11 and goes through to chapter 3 verse 12 and the overall basic theme of this particular section of Peter’s epistle is the theme of honorable conduct before a watching world.

Let’s go back to chapter 2 verse 12 and as you’re turning there, by the way, remember that Peter is writing this epistle to a group of what were likely mostly Gentile Christians, Gentile Christians who were facing the possibility of severe persecution for their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. And many of these Gentile Christians had been converted to Christ from a pagan idol worshipping background. And so there’s a great concern for the witness of these of these Christians. Peter is writing to them to encourage them in their faith and to offer them pastoral guidance and counsel for how to live a godly life in the midst of an ungodly and often hostile world. And in chapter 2 verse 12 he says keep your conduct among the Gentiles what? Honorable. Honorable so that when they speak against you as evildoers they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.

In other words, live in such a manner that God will be glorified that the gospel of Jesus will be commended to your unbelieving neighbors so that God may either visit them in grace, the day of visitation may be referring to God visiting these unbelievers with his saving grace and bringing them to faith in Christ, or it may be referring to the final day of judgment when God will judge those who remain impenitent in in their sin. But either way we are called to honorable conduct and that is the overall context of this larger section here of 1st Peter. Now this honorable conduct is an important part of our faithful witness as followers of the Lord Jesus Christ and the purpose of such conduct is that God may be glorified on the day of visitation as verse 12 says.

Now how is that honorable conduct? What does that look like on at a practical level? Well one of the ways that we believers glorify God is by submitting to the various human authorities that God in his providence places over us and therefore a prominent sub theme in this particular section of 1st Peter is the theme of submission to various authorities especially that theme comes to the surface in chapter 2 verse 13 through chapter 3 verse 6. As we saw a number of weeks ago back in chapter 2 verses 13 through 17, Peter urges Christian citizens to submit to the governing authorities. As followers of Jesus Christ we are not to be political revolutionaries. We are to submit to the governing authorities at least with respect to all of their lawful requirements. When the governing authorities tell us to sin against God of course we must disobey.

We must obey God rather than man but in every other case we are to have an attitude of submission to the governing authorities and then he goes on to the controversial subject of servants in their relationship to their masters. In the first century context to which Peter is writing many of these early Christians were slaves or servants and so he addresses them and he urges these servants to submit to their masters to translate that into our contemporary context that would basically mean for us today that if you’re an employee you are to submit to your employer in his lawful demands in the workplace. Well then he turns to the household code in chapter 3 verse 1 and he begins addressing wives. Wives are to submit to their husband and the particular concern here in the context of this passage is Christian wives who are married to non-Christian or pagan husbands.

How are they to relate to their husbands? Many of these Gentile Christian wives to whom Peter is writing no doubt had been pagans and when they got married to their husbands they had been Gentile idol worshipers just like their husbands but then they hear the gospel and they are saved. They come to faith in Christ. What are they to do? Are they to leave their husbands? Are they to you know seek to convert their husbands forcefully by preaching at their husbands? What are they to do? So Peter is concerned to encourage them to counsel them and to help them as they try to navigate these troubled waters of living in a mixed marriage situation and that’s where we find ourselves this evening and so as you can see it is within the context of addressing these various authority relationships that St.

Peter mentions the responsibilities of wives and husbands in the marriage relationship. First he addresses wives and we’ll focus first of all we’ll zero in first of all on the first two verses of chapter 3 and I want you to notice first of all the call to submission. This is the first point in your sermon outline the call to submission. Peter writes under the spirits inspiration likewise wives be subject to your own husbands. Why? So that even if some do not obey the word which is another way of saying even if some of them are not Christians they’ve not repented and believed in Jesus they’ve not responded in faith and trust to the gospel call. Even if that’s the case they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

The general principle of wifely submission in the marriage relationship it’s important to understand that this principle is rooted in the divine order of creation itself. It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve it doesn’t go back to male chauvinism or to oppressive patriarchalism it goes back to the garden. Now of course human sin has twisted and distorted this principle of godly submission as it is twisted and distorted the biblical truth and principle of the husband’s headship and sin messes things up. Sin distorts and perverts even good things. The principle itself however is not destroyed by sin. The principle itself the principle of wifely submission is rooted in God’s good and God’s benevolent order for the marriage relationship. It’s intended to be a blessing and not to be oppressive. It’s intended to to contribute to human flourishing.

Now I want to make a qualification here. There’s nothing we need to understand brothers and sisters there is nothing in this passage nor in the rest of scripture to suggest that the reason why wives are to submit to their husbands is because they are somehow inherently inferior to their husbands. The Bible does not teach female inferiority to the husband. Female submission within the marriage relationship is not rooted in any kind of notions of female inferiority to men or male superiority to the women. As Dr. Simon Kistermacher in his commentary on first Peter comments on Peter’s reference in verse 7 to the woman as the weaker vessel, which to our ears might sound like an insulting statement. The weaker vessel? Well he points out that the word weaker refers to physical stamina and not to intellectual abilities, moral courage, or spiritual strength.

In other words in verse 7 where Peter says likewise husbands live with your wives in an understanding way showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. He’s not saying that the woman is necessarily is weaker morally or weaker spiritually or weaker intellectually that she’s not as smart or not as moral or not as spiritual as the man inherently so. No he’s not saying that. Instead he is saying he is pointing out a biological reality that on the whole women are physically weaker than men. Women and men are built differently. God has created us differently and Peter is saying to the husband in the context of verse 7 look don’t take advantage of the physical weakness of your wife. Don’t use that as an excuse to abuse her to oppress her or anything like that.

So he’s concerned that they live that the husband live with his wife in an understanding way in a way that shows honor to the woman recognizing that she’s physically weaker but also recognizing that women are heirs with you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered. And so my friends the reason why wives are to submit to their husbands is first of all because God as I mentioned has established different roles for husbands and wives in his divine ordering of the marriage relationship. Now in our text for this evening Peter does not mention this divine creation order specifically although he certainly assumes it in everything he writes. But the reason that is on his mind in this particular passage as I’ve pointed out he has an evangelistic concern here. He has a witness bearing concern here in this passage he says likewise wives be subject to your own husbands why so that even if some do not obey the word they may be what they may be shamed no they may be one one to Christ in other words one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

In the context of this particular passage a Christian wife’s submission to her unbelieving husband carries with it like I said a witness bearing purpose. Peter’s driving concern here is for the gospel it is to commend the good news of Jesus it is to commend the gospel to these unbelieving husbands. And in Peter’s first century context a Christian wife’s willingness to submit to her pagan husband would do much to overcome her husband’s prejudice against the gospel and to commend the good news of Jesus to him. Dr. Norman Hillier in his commentary on 1st Peter gives us a helpful summary of the the situation that Christian wives who were married to pagan husbands in the first century faced he writes in Roman Greek and Jewish cultures women were subject to the authority of their husbands if a husband were converted to Christ it automatically followed that he brought his wife into the church as well but the other way around posed a very different situation.

For a wife to become a Christian while an unsympathetic husband remained a pagan threatened the stability of the marriage relationship as understood in the ancient world permeated as it was with pagan religious practices in which Christians could not engage. And of course it was a common understanding among the pagan Greeks and Romans was a common understanding that one of the ways that a woman shows subjection or submission to her husband is by following her husband’s religion but of course Christian women who have who have embraced Christ Christ Christian women cannot do that they cannot submit in that area so Peter’s basically saying look you can’t submit to your pagan husbands in their paganism but submit to them in every other way for the sake of the gospel for the sake of your witness for Christ and of course in that means that in the first century Gentile context to which Peter was addressing these instructions a wife’s conversion to Christ would likely create much more tension and much more difficulty in the marriage if the husband remained a pagan then it would if it if the situation were reversed which is likely why Peter spends much more time devotes much more time and space providing guidelines for the wife here in this context than he does for the husband.

Now let me just by way of bringing this home and applying this brothers and sisters can you understand and appreciate the difficulties that a Christian wife of a pagan man would face in the culture of that time. What does Peter suggest as a solution to these difficulties? Does Peter say to the Christian wife hey listen you got to get that husband of yours to bow the knee to Jesus so you need to preach at him you need to pester him you need to argue with him you need to bring him bring him to his senses hit him over the head with a ten pound Bible if you need to do so is that what he says? No. Does he say look you got to do that until your husband either gets so fed up and says you know I’ve had enough of this Jesus thing you’re out of here I divorce you or until he finally caves and says okay okay already I’ll convert to Christianity.

No. Instead Peter gives some very simple wise straightforward guidance. He basically says look be a good wife be respectful towards your husband seek to win your husband to Christ by your chaste and reverent conduct that’s how it could be verse 2 could be understood as Peter says that they are to submit be subject to your husbands that they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see when they see how Christ has transformed your life when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Now that’s not a guarantee that the unbelieving husband’s going to be saved or going to be converted only the Holy Spirit can convert the heart but the Holy Spirit uses our faithful witness he often chooses to use our faithful witness to lead others to Christ and so what does this engage what does this involve the woman in doing well that brings us to our next section here of our passage where we learn of the cultivation of true beauty this is the second point main point in your sermon outline Peter next discusses the matter of cultivating true beauty beauty as God would define beauty now verse 3 is kind of controversial it says Peter says do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear any of you ladies tonight put some makeup on before the service you’re wearing any jewelry tonight is Peter saying that you’re in sin because you’ve done those things how are we to understand this apparent prohibition in verse 3 is this intended as an absolute prohibition against all stylish hairdos all jewelry all fine clothing well most scholars say no and I’m very inclined to agree with them given the context of this passage Dr.

Edwin Blum says many have taken Peter’s words to be an absolute prohibition of any outward adornment the early fathers and give some examples he says the early church fathers to Tertullian and Cyprian did this and many rigorous have followed them but Peter’s emphasis is not on prohibition but on a proper sense of values and that’s why some translations add as a sort of an interpretive explanation they add the word merely they say do not let your adorning be merely external don’t just focus on the externals what focus on the things that matter the most dr. Norman Hillier writes that the Apostle is not forbidding Christian women from having hairdos or from wearing ornaments his language is to be taken as more figurative than literal since grammatically he means quote gold braided hair after the fashionable and extravagant hairstyling of the day among the wealthy and which amounted to virtually submerging the hair in lavish gold spangles surface show aside elaborate hairdos consumed much time and Christians had more important matters of the spirit to which to devote themselves so he’s basically saying look don’t focus on externals don’t be obsessed with extravagantly adorning yourself your outward appearance be concerned about the hidden person of the heart as he goes on to say in verse 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which in God’s sight is very precious couple points of application here beloved again Peter is not here advocating for the plain look he is not saying that if you are a faithful Christian woman you are obligated to look plain to adorn yourself plainly plainness is not necessarily godliness instead what the spirit through Peter is instructing Christian wives to avoid is being overly preoccupied with their external outward appearance to the neglect of nurturing what verse 4 calls the hidden person of the heart Peter is instructing Christian wives to avoid adorning themselves in an excessive or an ostentatious manner a manner which reflects a heart of pride and vanity beloved may we be more concerned with matters of the inner heart and spirit than we are with superficial merely external appearances but this passage even though it’s addressed to Christian wives who find themselves in a mixed marriage and in the the difficult circumstances that that brings to the surface nevertheless there’s something that all of us can learn about from this passage this passage points our focus and directs our attention I should say to the issue of what is true beauty in the eyes of God believer this true beauty that Peter speaks of is a beauty that is rooted in your new life in union with Jesus Christ now notice that Peter says in verse 4 that this beauty is an imperishable beauty or as the new international version translates it it’s an unfading beauty as Hillier explains unfading here translates the Greek word of phartos which could also be translated imperishable and he points out that this same term is used back in chapter 1 verse 23 in speaking about the new birth about being born again by the Holy Spirit the inner beauty that Peter is commending is a fruit of our new life in Christ this beauty is a fruit of the Holy Spirit which our Lord Jesus Christ by his spirit works within the heart of his people as they grow in him again as as we are reminded of the fruit of the spirit in passages like Galatians chapter 5 let me just read the quickly Galatians 5 19 through 26 the Apostle Paul in this passage says now the works of the flesh or the sinful nature are evident they’re evident they’re playing the works of the flesh are evident and he lists some of them sexual immorality impurity sensuality idolatry sorcery enmity strife jealousy fits of anger rivalries dissensions divisions envy drunkenness orgies and things like these I warn you as I warned you before that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God those who whose lives are characterized by these sins and are unrepentant in those sins will not inherit the kingdom of God but in contrast to that he says but the fruit of the spirit the fruit of the Holy Spirit the fruit which the spirit in the new birth and through sanctification works in us the fruit of the spirit is what love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control against such there is no law and those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires dear ones no matter who you are no matter what your present station or state in life might be whether you are a wife or a husband whether you’re married to a believer or an unbeliever whether you are a man or a woman whether indeed you’re single or married you and I can only escape the inherent ugliness of our sinful hearts and gain true beauty before the Lord by being washed in the blood of Jesus Christ robed in his perfect righteousness and renewed by his Holy Spirit do you know Christ have you received and rested upon him he freely offers himself to you and to me and to all in the gospel will you receive him by the sovereign grace of God may you turn to Christ from your sin and he will cleanse you from the ugliness of your sin and clothe you in his perfect everlasting righteousness the final point and I’ll be very brief because I see the time is is getting along we see here that Peter counsels the avoidance of fear the avoidance of fear let’s zero in on verses 5 and 6 now here as he speaks of this hidden person of the heart and the this inner beauty that is a result of our union with Christ and the new life in Christ that we have he goes on as he’s addressing these Christian women he gives them an example he says for this is how the holy women who hoped in God notice their focus and hope was not in their husbands not in their circumstances but in God they hoped in God they used to adorn themselves in this way how by submitting to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord now again that was a customary way of expressing respect for your husband back in Abraham’s day you read about Abraham and his relationship with Sarah that doesn’t mean that that Sarah never spoke her mind or never shared her thoughts with Abraham it’s very clear that she did just read about what it says in Genesis about Hagar what Hagar what Sarah thought of Hagar and what she asked Abraham to do with respect to that but Sarah’s practice was to show respect and submission and obedience to Abraham and so Peter uses that as an example and he says and you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening if you do good that speaks to actions your outward actions your respect is to be shown by your actions but also by your attitude an attitude of faith not fear the Christian wives who were married to pagan husbands were called as all believers are called to give God their supreme allegiance of course it would be very easy for these dear sisters in Christ to be fearful of their either their unbelieving husbands or of the circumstances the difficult circumstances that being married to an unbeliever would bring into their lives in those days women had no rights basically at least not in comparison to our day today husbands were basically at liberty to treat their wives like property and to abuse them at whim if they chose to do that and women had basically no legal protections against such such abuse as women do today and women today can be thankful for the advances that have been made for such legal protections they only the only one in whom they could trust to protect them from the whims of their unsympathetic and perhaps even hostile pagan husbands was God himself although the Christian wives of pagan husbands in Bible times might sometimes find themselves in very difficult circumstances Peter seeks to comfort and encourage them by directing their faith and their hope to the faithful and loving God who had redeemed them and who is able to comfort sustain and preserve them so Peter instructs them not only to do good in the midst of their less than ideal marital circumstances but also not to fear anything that is frightening from the context again it seems clear that what Peter means is that the Christian wives of pagan husbands were not to fear anything in connection with their less than ideal marital circumstances not their husbands and not the pressures or tensions that their faith will inevitably bring into their marriage relationship to an unbeliever they were instead to continue to do good by being respectful and submissive toward their unbelieving husbands making the best of less than ideal circumstances and the point is they are not to fear for God is faithful after all only God is to be feared and these dear sisters in Christ are adopted daughters of God they are the apple of his eye beloved in Christ whatever our circumstances may be let us not live in fear or terror instead let us trust in God he has redeemed us through Christ he has given us the earnest of our eternal inheritance the gift of the Holy Spirit if we find ourselves in less than ideal circumstances as we often do in this fallen sin-cursed world like these first century Christian wives of pagan husbands found themselves in then let us do what we can to improve our circumstances as God in his providence permits and let us do good to others even to our enemies just as Christ loved us and died for us even when we were his enemies most important of all let us trust and reverence God casting all of our anxieties upon him and I leave you again with a brief passage from Paul’s letter to the Philippians which should be very familiar to you Philippians 4 4 through 7 rejoice in the Lord always again I will say rejoice let your reasonableness be known to everyone the Lord is at hand do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus amen let us pray our gracious Lord and Father in heaven we thank you Lord for the counsel of your word we pray that by your spirit you would help us to take these truths to heart and to understand how they apply to our lives and our various circumstances and stations in life and we would pray Heavenly Father that you would be glorified in our lives and glorified through what we do in the week ahead we pray all of these things in Jesus name and all of God’s people said amen as we close our time of worship I’d invite you to rise and let’s sing together number 245 great is thy faithfulness 245

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